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Love Doctor

Every Tuesday Morning at 8am on the Morning Wake-Up, Clint asks your hard questions about relationships, sex, marriage to the Love Doctor Ian Grant from fatherswhodarewin.com  

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Question 1

Hey love Doc,

I recently found out my ex met someone (from a different culture, first language and country) on an online dating site. After meeting her only once (in person) he has left his family and friends to live with her and they have already married well within a year of meeting online (probably for Visa reasons). She is 21 and he is 32. I know it is not my business, and I definitely don't want him back, but I can't help but wonder what causes such uncharacteristic behaviour? Is it likely this/these types of relationships will last?  We were together 6 years and it was quite a shock to hear as I thought I knew him well.

Question 2

Hey Ian,

I have been married to my wife for 6 years, we have a young daughter together and have always been on the same page spiritually etc. But over the last few months (if I really look back, it’s probably been a lot longer) she has been disengaging from all things to do with Christianity. She has changed her theology and now would identify as atheist. It is a big shock for me and I don’t know how to deal with this? She isn’t the same person I married, she isn’t nasty or anything, but she is just very different. I feel we can’t connect on a spiritual level anymore, which is heartbreaking for me, and I worry about how we will bring up our daughter... What do I do?

Question 3

Hey love doc,

Hey Ian, I am going to be a first time Dad in about a month (hopefully not a Christmas day baby haha). And of course, I’m freaking out a little, I have read some books and what not, but I guess you never know how you’ll do until you get there right? I don’t like to over complicate things so... Could you just tell me what the 3 most important things are in being a Dad? Just so I know that if I’m at least doing those 3 things right, my kid will turn out okay, if you know what I mean? Cheers, love your work!

Question 1

Hey love Doc,

I have always been a very maternal person, and really looked forward to finding a husband one day. I have been praying about this a lot lately, and have several people prophesying over my life almost hinting at me to live a life focusing solely on God... The idea of giving up the dream of having a family is so hard. How do I give up something I have wanted for so long, should I even be listening to these people?

Question 2

Hi Iam,

My daughter is starting to date. I want to trust her and not give her a bunch of rules but I also know that kids will be kids. I am in very new and unknown territory, what’s the right move here?

Question 3

Hey love doc,

Last year I went travelling overseas for about 8 months and have now returned home. I met this amazing girl while away and we travelled together for a few months, we got really close over that time and wanted to pursue it further. She has now moved to New Zealand to see if things are going to work with us long term. She thinks everything is going great but I am not sure anymore, I still like her but I am having doubts about the whole thing. Should I tell her this, knowing how much she has invested to be here? It will break her heart and she might want to move back overseas. Or should I just stick it out a little longer to see how our relationship develops in this new environment?

Question 1

Hey doc,

I am a bit of a hopeless romantic, I tend to show how I feel by showering my loved ones with gifts. This results in me spending too much money too soon in relationships that don't end up lasting, what should I do, how do I manage this?

Question 2

Hi Love Doc,

My wife uses sex as a bargaining chip to get me to do what she wants. Is this fair, or even biblical?

Question 3

Hey Doc,

I have been dating my GF for 2 years and we very happy. I plan on marrying her, but her parents don't like me very much because I have quite a few tattoos and stretchers in my ears. It's important to honour your parents’ opinion but I feel disrespected and judged her parents, but I still want her dads blessing! What do I do?

Question 1

Hey Doc,

I broke up with my ex over a year ago now, and have been in what can only be described as a perfect relationship with my current girlfriend for nearly 10 months now, but I still think about my ex all the time and I don't know why or what to do about it, is this normal? Should I tell my girlfriend?

Question 2

Love Doc,

My Girlfriend has had a 'chequered' past. After becoming a Christian she has turned her life around. But I find myself wanting to know about what she used to be like, and also, who, and how many people she has been with. I try not to judge her for who she used to be but what if when I hear about what she has done I start to see her differently? How much do you need to know, or is healthy to know, about someone’s past?

Question 3

Hey Ian,

I am a firm believer that it's wrong to have sex before marriage, but I also feel like it's wrong to do any sexual things before marriage. Is there a clear line about what is too far? or is this different for everybody?

Question 1

Hey Doc,

I've been unfaithful to my wife for three years sadly. I have turned my life around and recently given my heart to the Lord. I was wondering what advice you could give me to help my wife understand I am a changed man of God?

Question 2

Hi,

I’ve temporarily moved in with a married couple who I’m close friends with. I’ve noticed there isn’t a lot of communication between them at all. He plays X-box till dinner, then washes up and goes back to his X-box until they go off to bed every night. She watches TV or does her own thing and they both seem to be happy doing it. I wonder whether I should say anything because their lifestyle can’t be healthy or if they don’t mind just let them be!?

Question 3

Hey Love Doc,

My wife isn’t interested in any sort of bedroom activity, regardless of the different ways I approach it, or the things I do to help around the house, she doesn’t have the drive or romantic desires that we both struggled to supress when dating. I’m sick of the numerous excuses and have gotten to the point where I’m fed up with trying. We discussed the issue, I vented my frustration and she said she doesn’t know why she feels like she does, I feel we’re at a dead end…

Question 1

Hey Doc,

I have recently downloaded the app called Tinder. Basically how it works is you upload a few pictures of yourself to your profile. You then look at other peoples profiles and can rate them 'hot or not' if you both rate each other hot then you can start messaging, and eventually meet up. I have had about 5 matches so far, there was one weirdo who I stopped messaging but the others seem like nice guys. I'm particularly keen to meet up with one of them. My friends have been quite negative towards it and think it's weird. But you can find people in all sorts of random places, so why not Tinder? What do you think?

Question 2

Hello Love Doctor!

I just got this new job and I absolutely love it - pretty much my dream job. But my boss has been flirting with me this past week. I haven't been leading him on at all but I haven't really shut him down either. It is a bit weird though and I’d rather he kept his flirty comments to himself. I'm just worried that if I mention something it could ruin the best job ever, it could mean that I have to go back to square one and start again, I have worked so hard to get where I am today. What should I do?

Question 3

Hey Love Doc,

How do you know when you are ready to have sex (I am expecting the answer to be wait till you're married), but why is this an important thing to do? We are told from a very young age to wait till marriage but not many people know why we do it?

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