Protect the relationship

'Speaking the truth in love' (see Ephesians 4:15 NLT) is necessary for building healthy and lasting relationships. In relationships there will be a clash of opinion or preference, and it's important that we can resolve them in a kind and loving way.

We all need help to follow God's will to honour relationship: 'The one who is patient calms a quarrel' (Proverbs 15:18 NIV). The words we use can cause great conflict: 'An evil man sows strife; gossip separates the best of friends' (Proverbs 16:28 TLB). Here's some good advice: 'You should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry. If you are angry, you cannot do any of the good things God wants done' (James 1:19-20 CEV).

What does it look like to resolve conflict in a healthy, godly way? In a difficult situation, it's all too easy to make comments aimed directly at someone's self-worth; something that only God should have a say about. Stuff like 'You always mess up', 'Why do I bother with you?' generally aren't beneficial. They're likely to leave bad feelings, rather than bring any resolution. Many relationships experience this. A better approach is to focus on the actual issue: 'I don't feel as though you made enough of an effort with that' or 'I was upset when you said that' all stay truer to the issue.



So what now? Is there a person you're not getting along with? Make an effort to affirm them and focus on the issue, not their self-worth. Speak your truth with love. Protect the relationship.





— SCRIPTURE —

'Speak the truth in love.' Ephesians 4:15 NLT
— SOULFOOD —

Phil 1-4, Luke 3:1-10, Ps 79, Pro 2:9-10